I do like to think myself as a man of many faces. I bet everyone does, it's a matter of self highly inflated egos. I also like to think myself as a man though deep inside I do know am just a boy in a man's hairy costume. I can't really grasp the faces I bestow myself. It's like I have 10 imaginary faces while I am faceless eight times in real life. There is a good reason for this conclusion to prove that I did not arrive at it just by mere chance. Am a man of deep thoughts and day dreams.
Sometimes I happen to be highly optimistic and extremely happy. A fact I bestow to overlooking life and hard facts and being a lover of the bottle. I like to call myself the jolly good fella, who never errs and does not see any error. That is my first, good looking, handsome, bright face. Then there is dark me, the one who writes sticky dark notes to self on the desktop. To remind self how life fucks up and kicks ass like nobody's business. Sample this random sticky note;-
The hope is dark, and it's on the graveyard
Prowling with zombies, they have no difference
Salty tears sting, till they turn red, suddenly
you are eye-bleeding, it's dead hope symptom
soon you will crack up, when you throw up
all over your boss, asshole, you are stinking carcass.
The little note glares at me till I sent it to trash can. Then the words start this creepy, weired
echo on my brain. It makes me wonder which part of my brain churns out words, because they always seem alien. This is the same face which gets insomnia kicking in, and late night Five Finger Death Punch, Mettalica etc.It's not funny at all listening to these bands at 3 in the morning while the window brings some creepy noises from outside.
Of late the face is stuck on my head. I can't shake it off. It's a part of me. I have one major reason for this, what my head is convinced of. Death of Kitty Hawk. Kitty Hawk is dying literally. We are stuck on the same bed right now which happens to be his death bed. Kitty Hawk is my long suffering Dell laptop. He is not exactly what you call a beauty but he is neither ugly. Kitty Hawk's downfall commenced with the battery, it can not go for 30 minutes without requesting a recharge and if you don't grant it in two minutes it dies. Then we come to the software. I had been running on windows xp then switched to windows 7 which proved to be as unstable as a drunk whore standing on one foot. I switched back to xp service (crack)pack 3 64 bit which has been smooth sailing up to a few weeks ago. Then the crashes, and more crashes. I believe I can deal with any software glitch but this was no glitch. Kitty Hawk had just been infected by the wost computer virus. It is the AIDS plus Ebola for windows, look it up. I resurrected Kitty Hawk, then realized my anti virus had mysteriously dissapeared, completely cleaned up from the system. Now it was up to me to go to System 32 and start cleaning up manually but the bitch had spread. It was on every folder and it behaved like a ghost, I could not kill it. The moment I deleted it another one was born. And it was running some crazy processes. Luckily my files were intact, I ate the humble pie and backed them up ready to format the thing.
This was not going to happen. The dvd rom went on a strike. My attempts to get it working broke it. I have migrated from xp to Linux {Ubuntu} which could be installed via usb. I don't like it. The only thing I can do here is coding, writing,blogging and tweeting. No After Effects, No Dreamweaver, No Photoshop, No nothing. How the hell am I supposed to pay my bills if I can't earn?
Now my face is on a permanent horror mode. I can't ignore the fact that these are the last days of kitty hawk. My beloved kitty hawk. I need a new baby, somebody get on m-pesa and bail this brother out. Whatever happens, I am sure of one thing, Kitty Hawk will have a more dignified death than dear Muammar Ghaddafi, and even better funeral. Long live kitty hawk.
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