Wednesday, June 1, 2011 0 comments

Sometimes back I filled this online form from ministry of finance. I can’t remember the link but if you visit GOK’s website you might find it or it has disappeared like everything else useful under control of a politician. Apparently, Uhuru Kenyatta needed my help in distinguishing what is important for Kenya and what is not. In my view, I told him I needed cheaper gizmos, veeery cheap Macbooks and imacs and a particular Nikon professional photography camera I need should be given out for free. I told him to sneak in to Mombasa port and give an order that those items should be exempted from taxation. Then I signed off with a blinking happy ka-face. He did not have the courtesy to send me a thank you email or ring me up and offer me a cup of coffee at Java which I would definitely decline owing to my good manners.

I, like any other Kenyan sleep through the budget reading when am watching it on TV taking the cue from mis-honorable Members. I only wake up to realize that the price of the good old beer has been increased and also that of cancer sticks. See how budget is predictable?  Why can’t they let beer be? We already have enough shit from Mututho though a brilliant court has decided to suspend the law after KBL took it there. They also exempt tax from foodstuffs because every year food shortage in Kenya coincides with budget reading. I think my heart attack will come in the year when this will not happen. I guess yours too.  After all the advice we the online Kenyans have given to Uhuru, he is hesitant in tabling the budget.

This has been brought about by one huge reason; the government does not have enough money. There is a mantra every finance minister adopts when he takes the office. “The budget will forever grow and in every year”. As stupid as it looks and sounds, it is actually true. No budget has ever been lesser than the previous year’s, at least since I knew what a budget is. What Uhuru needs right now is more money from you, the taxpayer. Because he and the government will use that money to create jobs and raise your living standards. They assume that you don’t know how to use the money, like you might go throwing it onto oncoming vehicles. Am not saying some of you can’t. In the end the government will have billions extracted from you. Dude you are rich, very rich, but the good old government has made you poor. The government does not know how to spend this money. Any intelligent organization would have problems budgeting billions and we all know government does not range anywhere near. So they end up wasting your money on useless trips overseas and hefty dinners. One reason why they can’t help but sleep when parliament. This year the government needs your help. You have not been giving KRA enough to sustain the budget.

There are two kinds of people in kenya, people who pay more to the government than they get from it (taxpayers); people who get more from the government than they pay to it (or pay it nothing)(members of parliament, the president, vice, prime minister and their cats and dogs) I am afraid you are a taxpayer and you will always be paying the government. The government believes taxation is the greatest thing ever invented apart from ballot papers. If it was not God would not have allowed creation of KRA. 

This year I want you yo be patriotic, give more to KRA, I am not saying you lie in your tax forms. But let them have more than they actually do. A few of you will get refunds but what is afew compared with all of you?  You will not only help Uhuru have a budget of his dreams (because next year around this time there is a high probability he will be rotting in prison) but also you will create more jobs for your fellow countrymen and give your MP a more comfortable sleep in parliament and an even bigger tummy. Thank you. Patriotic Kenyan.


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